top of page

Breaking Free from the Shackles of Perfection in Motherhood

"Perfection is an illusion. Once we accept this as fact, we can truly embrace motherhood"- Dr. Ellen Chance

Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling experiences a woman can have, but it also comes with a unique set of challenges. One of these challenges is the unrealistic expectation of perfection. Society, family, and media all contribute to this pressure, painting a picture of an ideal mother who effortlessly balances work, home life, and parenting with a smile on her face.

However, the truth is that no one can meet these expectations, and attempting to do so can lead to burnout, low self-esteem, and a constant sense of failure. To break free from the shackles of perfection, mothers must first recognize that this idea is an unattainable fantasy, and then focus on developing a healthy and realistic approach to parenting.

One of the keys to breaking free from perfectionism is to adopt a growth mindset. Rather than viewing parenting as a series of failures or successes, view it as an ongoing process of growth and learning. When you focus on the journey rather than the destination, you can release the pressure to be perfect and instead enjoy the experience of being a parent.

It’s also important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your children. Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, focus on what is important and prioritize your time and energy accordingly. For example, if your child’s physical and emotional well-being is your top priority, you may choose to prioritize time spent playing and bonding with them over maintaining a spotless house.

Another way to break free from perfectionism is to practice self-compassion. Cut yourself some slack, and don’t be so hard on yourself. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. When you extend compassion to yourself, you’ll find it easier to extend it to your children as well.

Finally, it’s important to seek support from others. Talking to trusted friends and family about your experiences as a parent can help you feel less isolated and more validated. Joining a support group or seeking the guidance of a therapist can also be incredibly helpful in breaking free from perfectionism.

Whole Counseling and Wellness specializes in women’s and maternal mental health, and works with clients towards embracing these principles to release the pressure to be perfect and enjoy the journey of parenting with more ease and fulfillment.

Learn more about our individual and group counseling services:

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page